you probably can sensed that I have feeling for you from the moment we both talk about our possibilities that night. but how can you become so cruel to me? the way you treated has been even worst than giving me hope. you always make me forget that there's someone else. but when reality knocked over my head, it never fail to drown me everytime. it's funny that even in my dream you have the capability to hurt me. you didn't know that, don't you?*scoffs That just make everything even worse darling. the sweetness of being with you could last just for a second now. then it'll be replace with hurtful reality. everything about you just make me hurt even more. to talk with you, to hold your hand, to take care of you, to miss you, to love you. don't you know, that somehow you've become a thorn inside me? well, you're that clueless person.

Last night's wedding. I just don't feel, uh good for them. First time though feeling like this for wedding. They do make a cute couple. All the tuxedo, petite bride's white dress, and the wedding in garden concept. They, in fact make me felt jealous of them. Maybe it just me but the groom kept making a straight face. He seems not to care about his wedding making the bride looks like she enjoys it by herself. Making their way for the special dinner, I can see the bride intertwined closely her finger with the groom's but the groom didn't fully grasp her hands. Maybe it just me who felt it. But then I thought of someone. A girl that my aunt told us. One girl that happened falling hard for him. Loving him so much that she hurt badly. My heart suddenly hurt. It just that I can feel the girl's feeling for the night. Someone she loved had become someone else'. Excruciating in pain? I don't know, but it definitely something not nice to feel. It's weird actually that until now I felt my heart clenching. Maybe this is the reason why I don't really felt good last night. They indeed celebrating their happiness over someone's sufferness.
Anyway, even though the wedding itself seems rush to be held, I just want my cousin happy with his new life. The things earlier, I might just imagining it. You two maybe deeply in love with each other. So, congratulations cousin! ;)   

가시연

Ah, my heart hurting so much. The love was beyond great that totally suffocate me. Awesome author is awesome. Really. I don't think that crazy love does actually exist. But if it did, it was totally sick, I'm telling you. Stunningly beautiful but sick. Ugh, my poor heart. Every chapters were twisted enough to make me high in the sweetness of love and then drown in the bitterness in a split seconds! Ah, my feels.

Bought his first solo album with my very first salary on my birthday month

Well, it suppose to be on my birthday but since I received my salary a bit late and I've to wait for his album to restock *torture*. But anyway, I just collected it today! Oh and on Friday. (I've things with Friday actually) Of course I'm super duper excited and being immature and jumpy and all goofy, as someone said. It's Kim Jae Joong we're talking about, okay! *stares*
Anyway, I'm loving every single thing in his album. Good thing I can read in hangul. I can sing along with his precious voice from the awesome booklet! LOL.

I'm totally in my fangirling mode. Please excuse my odd and ridiculous behavior tonight. At least until I'm down from my high of having highly dose of the drug.

woke up this morning to his beautiful voice. hehe

Happy 27th Birthday Kim Jae Joong.

Stay healthy and keep being an angel.

and, iloveyou.